"Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don’t count on harvesting Golden Delicious." – Bill Meyer

If I ask myself a positive question my brain will automatically look for a positive answer.

All through every day of our lives we have thoughts. A lot of them we are not aware of and those thoughts are a lot more important to who you are and what your life is like than you would expect.

More than often these thoughts tend to be negative, telling us that we are not good enough to make it as a writer, or we are too fucked up to find a man that will love us. Those thoughts aren’t very pleasant and friendly and you would probably never say any of those things to anybody else.

The traditional way of trying to change your way of thinking is to do affirmations, to try to convince yourself that “I can and will make it as a writer” or “I will find a man that loves me for who I am”. An affirmation is supposed to be repeated over and over again until you believe it to be true. The problem is that most people have a little voice in their heads telling them that “No you won’t”, or “No you’re not”.

In 1997 the writer Noah St John realised that affirmations didn’t work for him, because that little voice in his head kept telling him it wasn’t true, arguing whith whatever it was he was saying to himself. He was thinking about how the mind works, that if you ask a question it immediately tries to find the answer to that question. No matter what the question is. He realised that if you ask yourself a negative question, like most of us do all days long, your brain will come up with negative answers. Likewise, if you ask yourself a positive question, like most people don’t do, your brain will come up with positive answers. Afformations were born then and there.

An afformation is a question you ask yourself to make you feel better about yourself! Instead of trying to convince yourself with affirmation you use what you already know within you. Instead of repeating “I can and will make it as a writer” you ask yourself “why am I making it as a writer?” and your brain will start to look for the answers and the reasons to why you are making it as a writer. If you ask yourself “why do I find a man that loves me for who I am” your brain is searching for the answers. Now, the answers in themselves are not the important aspect here but the positive state of our minds is, because your brain is only looking for positive answers and automatically you start to think positive thoughts about yourself.

When I have a day when I think I look like crap I ask myself “why am I so satisfied and pleased with the way I look?” and right away I see myself in a different light. Instead of noticing the fat on my stomach I see my dark blue eyes, instead of seeing how pale I look I realise that I am having a pretty good hair day today.

I sometimes fall into insecurity about myself and start to ask myself negative questions like; “how can he love me?” and when I do I turn it around with asking myself “why am I so loveable?” and instead of being served a bunch of “he doesn’t really love you” I answer myself with “because I am so caring”, “because I am worth it” and other positive statements like that.

This technique has made a great difference for me and in my life. Instead of beating myself up all the time I am now lifting myself up. I would never let anybody else talk to me the way I used to talk to myself, so why should I let myself do it? With this technique I can choose not to, only by asking the right questions?

What are you telling yourself? Are being good to yourself or evil? Would you let anybody else talk to you the way you yourself do?

Sit down and right a bunch of questions that can only be answer by positivity.
Why am I so rich? (The answer might not be about being rich in money, but you will definitely get plenty of answers to why you are rich.)
Why am I loosing weight so easily? Why am I a money magnet? Why does everybody look up to me? Why am I successful? Is time to your attitude towards yourself and your life?

It is not about finding the right answers, it is all about finding the right questions!

Love

Carina

"Our only security is our ability to change." – John C. Lilly

It’s a fact that changes are a part of life. Find harmony in that fact and life will be easier.

I love changes! I think changes are what make my world go round. It’s true that sometimes, at first glance, a change might not always feel like a good thing but in most cases there is usually something good coming out of it. This is another one of my attitudes towards life.

Without changes life, or I, have no chance of moving forward. And if I don’t change I will have no chance of keeping up with the world that goes on around me.

When something we can’t control changes, we need to be able to adjust. If the company we work for goes bankrupt we need to be able to alter to that situation and find a solution that suits us. When you are unhappy about something in your life you need to change that something into something you like and enjoy instead, or you will continue being unhappy for the rest of your life.

Some changes are worth fighting for, and if a change is really for the worse you should do your best to change it to the better again. But you should learn how to pick your battles. An example that is close to hand for a lot of people are the changes that facebook does every once in a while. There has not been a change that people haven’t complained about. Now, it might not always be for the better, but is it really worth getting upset about? Just go with the flow of it and see where it leads, there might be an idea behind the changes that isn’t showing at first sight. And if not, it’s not going to ruin your life.

Changes worth fighting for are the ones that are close to your heart, like relationships and dream jobs. If your relationship is starting to change to the worse, than you need to fight for it to change direction again. This will, however, usually lead to another change but this time to the better. This is where my philosophy comes into action; all changes will in the end lead to something good. You just need to have the right attitude and fight the bad ones, in the right way and to embrace the good ones, in the right way. And always, always do the best you can of the situation, no matter what the situation is.

I love changes! Changes are what make the world go round! If I hadn’t changed I would still be a new born baby. Think about that!

The reality is that changes are a part of life, and that is a fact. If you embrace that fact and find harmony in it, life will be a lot easier.

To find out more about John Lilly, look here.

Love
Carina

"When you don’t know what to do, get still. The answer will come." – Oprah Winfrey

I don’t live to work, I work to have a good life.

Do you ever do nothing? Or are you the kind of person that has to have something to do all the time? Do you not do enough?

I believe that the right combination of keeping busy and being still is necessary to be able to enjoy all parts of life. If all you do is work hard, spend time exercising, doing your hobbies, cleaning the house, feeding the family, driving the kids you have no time to really enjoy any of it. If you on the other hand don’t do anything at all, just lay around the house all day, every day then you don’t appreciate that either. I think that you need both to enjoy any of it, to enjoy life.

Life is supposed to be enjoyed, and all the different parts of life are supposed to be enjoyed too. You have to appreciate the details to appreciate the completeness of it. And you have to appreciate the completeness of it to appreciate the details of it. It’s all about abundance, everything goes hand in hand.

To appreciate being busy you have to have moments, times when you are doing absolutely nothing. When you can sit back and just dream. You need time to sit back and long to do something, time for yourself, time to drift away in fantasies, a book, a film or inside yourself. Time to listen to music or to your own heart beat or breaths. Time to relax and just be lazy. Being lazy is good sometimes!

On the other end of the scale is being very busy, and that is just as important. If you are never really busy you will have a hard time appreciate being in stillness. You need days, maybe weeks or sometimes a couple of months of being busy to really enjoy being still and do absolutely nothing at all. You can work hard 6 days a week, as long as you don’t do anything, don’t have a lot of have-to’s on the 7th.

You need to keep busy to learn, but you need the stillness to grow. To be able to make use of what you learn. You need to love every moment of being busy, because you know that you would want so badly to be busy if you didn’t have anything to do at all. You also need to love every moment of doing nothing because you know you would give everything for a few hours of peace and quite if you had too much to do.

How much of everything someone needs is all individual, everybody is different. But a person can not grow as a human being without both being busy and being still. Make sure you have both parts in your life, it will make your life richer and it will make you a stronger and happier person.

I ususally say; “I don’t live to work, I work to have a good life and if I don’t enjoy my work I won’t enjoy my life” Make sure you enjoy every single part of your life!

To read more Oprah quotes I’ve written about just look here, to learn more about Oprah read here or here.

Love
Carina

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